massu74 (massu74) wrote,

NEWS no All Night Nippon Premium 2021/02/21 - Translation Part 1

Since this was 3-nin's first radio programme together (and "All Night Nippon" at that!) I thought it might be nice to do a simple summary/translation of the programme. It was 3hrs and 40mins long though, and I tried to write as much as I could down so this ended up extremely long hahaha. But I'm finally finished! Do let me know if you notice any typos/mistakes so I can fix them.


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5:40pm - 6pm

At the opening, they said the programme’s going to be 3 hrs 40 mins long, and it’s all going to be live. They talked a little about what you could do with that length of time, such as flying to Guam (from Tokyo).
K: Any ideas, Kato-san?
S: Nope, nothing other than Guam.
K: Why! Don’t give up!
M: It’s exactly 3 hrs and 40 mins from the time I reach home till the time I sleep!
K: Ah really?
S: Then you barely sleep. But that probably doesn’t happen everyday, does it!

They then talked about how there are no guests for this programme, and that Massu considered inviting Fuwa-chan (a female comedian) onto the show as she was around just now. (K: Are you guys that close?) They talked a little about how it must be tough for her to dress in her trademark style in winter since it’s probably cold, and moved on to talk about how Koyama appeared a little on (Shofukutei) Tsurube-san’s programme before this one. They then shared that Tsurube-san called Massu just before the programme started
K: Like, 20 seconds before.
S: What did he say?
M: Stuff like, do your best!
S: Despite knowing that you have a programme coming right up?
M: I was probably done about a minute before we had to start! He also said to pass Koyama his number.
K: Ah, thank you.

Tsurube-san apparently also talked to Shige, and the first thing he said was, “That’s too bad.” Shige referred to A-studio, a programme Tsurube-san hosts, saying that he’s guested in it in the form of interviews/photos, but has never spoken to Tsurube-san directly and the first sentence to their first conversation in person was, “That’s too bad.” What an unforgettable experience. They praised Tsurube-san for being familiar with everything that’s happening to everyone, as that sentence was actually in response to how Shige didn’t manage to win the Naoki Prize.

M: But that’s amazing, isn’t it? Just being nominated is… is enough for you to drink about, isn’t it?
S: …… “enough for you to drink about”?
M: Hmm? Um… let’s- let’s talk about it in detail later!

// Title call finally lol: “NEWS no All Night Nippon Premium!" //

They talked about how it’s exciting to be talking to the classic BGM of All Night Nippon and wondered again if they would be able to last 3 hrs 40 mins. They asked for the listeners to help them out (by sending in mails, tweeting responses etc.) The programme was also at a time when lots of activity was happening, so there could be people doing housework, preparing dinner, driving somewhere…
M: I’m already thinking about dinner!
S: You can’t eat till quite sometime later! Till 9:20pm!

They talked about how Shige appeared once in All Night Nippon before, back in a late night slot in 2007. Koyama asked if Shige remembered it and he said he was about 19 then, that it was in a huge studio, and that he appeared on the programme with Yamapi and Ryochan. He remembered he tried really hard, and had to fulfil a lot of ridiculous requests.
K: I would think so, with that line up. Shige’s probably the only one talking, right?
S: I think it was the first time I had to lead the conversation.

Shige asked for the listeners to send in what they remember from that episode if they had listened, as his memory might not be that reliable, so the reality could be that he barely talked. It’s probably fine to try doing something like this, since only 5 mins have passed!
M: 5 mins huh… (high-pitched voice) How’ve you guys been?!
K: Don’t use that now, you should leave this card till later…
M: Sorry sorry… I have no idea what to talk about anymore.

They said it’s really rare for them to talk together for 3 hrs straight and Massu said he was just telling the staff earlier that this is probably the first time that they’ll be talking for more than 2 hrs together, with just the three of them, no staff or anyone else.
S: Probably the longest time so far was when we had that meeting to talk about how we will move forward as three.
S: That was perfectly 3 hrs 40mins!
M: Ah! Just the exact time huh!
K: Will everyone understand what you’re referring to? I don’t think so!
M: When we kept losing members and had to decide what we had to do to continue as NEWS. Or if we could continue as NEWS, to begin with.
S: Around June last year, maybe? That was EXACTLY 3 hrs 40 mins.
K: No one would resonate with this! Like, “Ah… that, huh!” Only we would!
M: That, huh…
K: Masuda-san is going “that, huh” now!
S: And just at 3 hrs 40 mins, we asked the manager(s) to come in.
S: We had the meeting with just the three of us, and it was after 3 hrs 40 mins that we had other people join us.
K: When all of us decided we would continue as three-
S: When we decided that NEWS would do our best, it was exactly 3hrs-
K: Stop being obsessed with saying this.
M: It was probably about 2 hrs though…
S: Yeah it was about 2 hrs. Ah… my stomach hurts (from laughing so much).

They then asked for listeners to send in mails/tweets again before introducing the first theme. Shige read out the theme “My First NEWS” and the other two proceeded to diss him on how he sounded (M: If I were driving, I’d definitely turn the volume down now) Shige asked Koyama to read all his parts and then joked a bit more before moving on to the segment proper.

In the first listener mail, the listener said they realised recently that they have dimple(s), albeit not very obvious one(s). The three of them agreed that you don’t usually look at yourself in the mirror to check if you have dimples. Massu started saying how you might be able to see them when you use the interdental brush and probably went on to demonstrate it, because they started talking about his face and got Shige to try. They said it’s pointless to make all these weird faces since it’s the radio and Shige said he’s worried they’d never get invited to the programme again at this rate. Koyama shared that during an earlier meeting, they were told that since NEWS has been in the industry for a really long time, they should just do the programme at a pace reflective of their experience. But they actually have zero idea. Massu said they’ve always been in the “we don’t want to forget our roots” kind of mindset and the other two agreed.

There was then a “first news” related to Koyama, and said now this is what a live programme looks like, and cued for a self-introduction. The additional voice turned out to be the station’s new announcer, Uchita Yuki, and he has a story with Koyama. When he was still a student, he went to volunteer for the areas affected by the torrential rain that hit southwestern Japan in 2019, and met Koyama there. He apparently went up to Koyama and suddenly asked Koyama how he could convey things through his own words, since he was hoping to enter the media industry back then. Koyama answered him really passionately, and said that he should just use his own words since his own words have the most weight (K laughs). Uchita said those words gave him a lot of strength, and he remembered Koyama said to him at the end of the conversation, “See you at a broadcast station the next time we meet,” and he really became an announcer. Koyama said he remembers Uchita and was wondering how he did. They apparently also showed a photo of them back in 2019 (M: You cut your hair? Uchita: [laugh] Yes, I did, a number of times since) Uchita is probably the first male announcer for the station in 16 years. He’s really grateful to Koyama and wondered if this was the right time to try to talk to Koyama, but decided to anyway, since this was probably the only chance. Koyama suggested he appear at the end of the programme, only to be rejected since Uchita had to start his day early the following day.

They then introduced the mail deets etc. again (Massu tripping over his part and the other two were like, this is live!)

Coming back from a round of ads, Koyama said that it seems the programme’s hashtag was trending at second (M: Make us first!) and he was about to read a listener mail when he announced the hashtag just went up to first place.
M: What’s “trend”? Do you look at the mails or something?
K: So everyone-
S: It’s Twitter’s trend. Hashtag trend.

They said someone sent in a mail about the episode of ANN that Shige appeared in back in 2007 (S: So there are people who listened back then! Thank you.) The listener said Shige had his ear picked by Ryochan (S: AHHH THAT HAPPENED) and asked if they should get one of the members to do that again today. Koyama wondered how that happened and Shige said there was probably a game when they had to complete tasks by drawing lots etc. and shared that he actually hates having his ears picked. He can’t do it on his own, and it was just scary when his parents wanted to do it for him when he was a kid. Koyama said he likes getting it cleaned at the otorhinolaryngologist’s, and Massu said he cleans his ears with cotton buds everyday. They talked about how Shige probably can’t go to maid cafes where they do it for the guests, and Shige said nope, he doesn’t understand why people would pay to go through that. They said this mail was great, and that they would love to hear more of such things. They thanked the listeners for making the hashtag first place, and Koyama asked the manager to bring cotton buds over if they can find some (S: NO)

6 - 7pm

After a round of ads, Massu talked about how it’s a live programme! And that they barely have any experience hosting live programmes, like, making sure they fill in the time to the exact second (K: I’ll probably be the one taking care of that). Massu said he wanted to say the cue line for traffic conditions.
K: That’s a really good voice, isn’t it? (referring to the announcer reporting on traffic conditions)
M: Me?
K: Hang on, Masuda-
S: HOW does this become about “me”? WHO was talking about you?
K: You’ve never done this before, have you?
M: Nope, it’s the first time.
K, S: What was that about?
M: I’m going to do this in a good voice!

They decided to share recent episodes and Massu went first, sharing the same story he shared at the end of Feb 20th’s Marumaru, about the Doraemon figurine that he probably knocked off his bedside table in his sleep.
M: So I was like, AHHH DORAEMON! And went to rescue him, saying, “SORRY!” But when I picked him up, he was smiling.
K: How was that!?
S: How was that, listeners? Please drive safely! That could have just caused a sudden brake.

Koyama shared how he removed his wisdom tooth, like how he’s shared in Feb 18th's KEIICHIRO. They talked a little about removing wisdom teeth, and Koyama had his molar removed, in one piece, but yet did not experience any swelling!

Shige shared something about a work that isn’t recent, referring to the well-known concert of Yamaguchi Momoe where she placed the microphone down on the stage at the end of the final song of her farewell concert. The concert was aired on TV once in full, and Shige recorded that as he wanted to see how the concert was like, since it happened before he was even born in 1980. He hasn’t finished it yet, but has been watching it in bits and pieces slowly and came across something that blew his mind. There’s this famous song of hers that goes “playback, playback”.
K: (sings a little) “playback, playback~”
S: Do you know the title of that song?
K: “Playback".
M: Isn’t it “Part 2”?
S: It’s actually “Part 2”!
K: Massu, you don’t say that even if you knew!
S: Nah that’s fine.
K: Hahahaha He’s got that “AH!” face now.
S: That’s fine. But did you know there’s a part one?
M: Yeah seems possible, seems possible. Yup.

Shige continued to talk a little about “Part One” and that the lyrics were by Makaino (Koji)-san, the same person who wrote the lyrics to “NEWS Nippon”. Shige shared a part he found amazing about the song, where it goes “This happened in summer. Don’t cry along after you hear my story.” And he’s like, “Don’t cry along” - that implies the person is crying! Isn’t this amazing!!!
They wondered if it’s possible to play the song now (nope) and Shige said it has never occurred to him to wonder if there was a part one before, and he seriously only found out about it the day before.
M: That was a really long story so we have to do the ending already.
S: It’s only 7 minutes past 6. It’s not even been 30 minutes since the programme started!

♪ Beautiful ♪

Massu was supposed to introduce the listener mails, but he read the wrong theme, and redid the introduction again. Introducing mails for “My First NEWS”, the listener was a 16 year-old who used the public phone for the first time in their life recently because they forgot to bring their mobile phone. They were first embarrassed by how the booth is see-through, but got impressed by how you can make a call for as low as 10 yen.
Koyama asked if they remember he had a play where he was stuck inside a telephone booth (referring to Call in 2009).
M: The one where you had to hold a gun?
K: Yeah yeah- nope, that’s a different one. That’s “Loss:Time:Life”.
M: You were in so many works that had you trapped inside somewhere!
S: Yeah so many. He pretty much gets trapped somewhere.

Koyama went on to share how one of the merchandise made for Call was actually a photo Shige took of Koyama in New York when they went together. Going back to phone booths, they wondered when they last used a public phone. They used to use the ones near NHK to get their parents to pick them up after they were done with the rehearsals when they were still Jrs. Shige said his first mobile device was the PHS, so he has no idea how to use pagers. Massu said those were probably more commonly used by their older sisters, and his used to go to the public phone near their home at night and would not come back till like 30 mins later (to send messages). They talked a little about how you can type messages using the phone pads, or send code numbers to mean certain messages, like “I love you”. For a while, they tried to decide what the code for “I love you” was, but decided to get the listeners from the pager generation to send in their answers instead. Shige said the younger generation probably don’t even know about flip phones, and Koyama shared that he was just reading a book about innovations over the years.
K: Apparently, there used to be people who would go around to wake people up. Like, they’d knock on your window- ah not that it was something that happened in Japan, but it was interesting.
S: It wasn’t Japan?? I totally thought you were going to talk about Japan.

Koyama went on to share how people used to put their ears against gigantic loudspeakers to figure out what’s flying over etc. Massu said it’s good for people to find out where the public phones are located, and to keep a telephone card with themselves at all times for emergencies, like when they need to contact someone urgently and the mobiles don’t work. They talked about how you can’t talk for very long with just 10 yen, and Koyama said he used to refuse to start off a call with 100 yen as he wouldn’t want to think he’d spend so much on one call. Massu wondered if Koyama was the type to keep having to insert coins to keep the call going, as he’s the type who can finish what he wants to say within the time for 10 yen, like if he was just calling his parents. (S: I used the telephone card). They said they were probably the borderline generation to use public phones, and referred to scenes in earlier Japanese dramas like Tokyo Love Story and Long Vacation, where old school formats of communication can’t be applied anymore to the current days.

// Music segment: “Ima kiite hoshii, NEWS no kono ikkyoku”//
(A song from NEWS that we’d like you to listen to now)

Massu made some weird sound effects (K: They played some for us already!) before going on to read the intro lines of the segment.
M: “It’s been 18 years since our debut as NEWS…” Shouldn’t it be “it’s been 18 years since we became NEWS”?
K: Who did he just talk to? Who did our member just talk to?
S: Who was it? This is so scary…
K: So scary...
M: …we made our song selections beforehand!
S: Lol yeah we did.
M: WHY did you ignore me!
K: Let me say this again, this programme is live!
M: It’s because the two of you ignored me! You can’t do that.
K, S: We did not!
K: We can only reply if we knew you were talking to us, but we couldn’t tell.
M: I did, I looked at you!
S: So this is where we are at after 18 years lol…

Massu tried explaining the segment again but the other two kept interrupting him and Massu ended up sounding frustrated when they finally got it.
M: That’s what I’ve been saying this entire time!!!
K: We were just trying to make it easier to understand.
M: We had meetings for this, didn’t we!
S: The listeners probably didn’t know what was going on.
M: Ah… that’s my fault huh.

SO! The point of this segment was for them to pick a song that they hope people would listen to now, out of the many songs they’ve released over the past 18 years. Koyama decided to go first, giving his explanation of his song selection before playing the song. He picked the song because the song isn’t actually their debut song, since they had an indies debut before the major debut, and this song is the indies debut song (“NEWS Nippon” vs “Kibou -Yell-”). “NEWS Nippon” has all the concepts that NEWS is about, and also the name of “NEWS” that Johnny-san gave them.
M: Were we together when we sang “Peace no sign” on Music Station?
K: Yeah.
S: Yup we were, sang it on The Shounen Club too.
(TL note: “Peace no sign” is somewhat like a former version of “NEWS Nippon” and one of the songs that got incorporated into the final “NEWS Nippon”. It was performed by some members of NEWS and some other Jrs, back when they were all still Jrs. Here's a version of the song from inala!)

Koyama also hopes people pay attention to the structure of the song, as it’s a combination of about 2 to 3 songs (including “Peace no sign”).

♪ NEWS Nippon ♪

Sharing their thoughts on the song, they talked about how great this song is, and
M: You can hear so many voices in there~
K: A colourful blend.
M: Yup a colourful blend of voices.
K: And these voices are all shining in their ways at various places now.

Koyama went on to share how he gets emotional each time he listens to this song, because it reminds him of a younger version of himself when he was scared, but also dazzling. That it was when they were at a point when they wondered if they’d be able to fulfill their dreams, since they weren’t actually told they were going to debut at that point in time. They hope to be able to keep singing this song, then went on to touch on how they had problems hitting the key for the “sora takaku…” part and how Yabu (Hey! Say! JUMP) was one of the kid voices in the song.

Massu went next to introduce the song he chose, deciding to play the song, “STORY”, as he explained why, since the intro for this song is really long. (K: Oh that’s a great idea! Fit your words exactly into the time before the first verse starts! M: How many more minutes do I have??) Massu picked this song because there’s a line that goes “koko ni tadoritsuita NEWS” (NEWS finally made their way here) and he felt like that line is everything he’s worked for the past four years. (K: Not an easy journey here) Massu talked a little about the N, E, W, S tours, and how to complete S in 2020 and move up to the next stage as NEWS was their goal since four years ago. Koyama added that the tour had to be cancelled in 2020 due to COVID-19, and then Koyashige came down with COVID-19, but now they finally can hold the concert.
M: So “koko ni tadoritsuita NEWS” is like to me, the current me at this very moment, extremely fitting… (intro of the song already hits the “all right, let the journey begin” part) please listen to it!
K, S: Hahahahhahahah!


Coming back from the song, Koyama teased Massu about his rushed song cue at the end, but Massu said maybe he did that in a rush on purpose? They said it brings more meaning to listen to “STORY” after “NEWS Nippon”, and talked again about how they are finally able to do the tour after releasing the album early last year.
Moving on to Shige’s selection, he said since they’ve listened to their first song, and a song from the latest album, he picked one from their latest release. This is a song that helps to showcase the range of NEWS, and what NEWS is capable of.

♪ Champagne Gold ♪

Explaining his choice of song, Shige said there’s actually a lesser known series of their songs that fans enjoy very much, like “Yoruyo Odore”. These songs are true to the spirit of “NEWS Nippon” in the sense that they incorporate many styles into one song, with very interesting and stylish rhythm, lyrics and so on. While there are songs where there is a particular highlight that people should listen to, for this song, he hopes people would listen to it in its entirety. Koyama agreed, saying this is a song that gets better the more you listen to it, and Massu said he feels this song helps to tie up the triple A side single very nicely. Shige ended this segment by saying that they have many other good coupling songs too, but he chose this song because he wanted people to know this side of NEWS.

// Gochi ni narimashita! Wasurerarenai Gohan no Hanashi //
(Thanks for the treat! Stories of meals I cannot forget.
TL note: This is a reference to the “Gochi ni narimasu” segment in Gurunai that Massu appears in as a regular)

Massu messed up the segment title again, saying it in present tense instead of past tense. For this segment, they are supposed to share stories of memorable meals they had with their seniors/juniors, or people from the entertainment scene.
K: Massu probably has the most stories, right?
M: If the two of you can’t come up with better stories than mine, it’s all going to get edited out!
K: You can’t edit things out! Everything will just go on-air.
K: What was so funny? What made you laugh from that?
M: Hehehehe…

They decided Massu should go first, and maybe share two stories in total (M: I thought we’d hear stories from you two first so I am NOT prepared). Koyama suggested he start with a story with the juniors maybe then one with seniors.
M: So with Inohara-kun (V6), Higashiyama (Noriyuki)-san and Yakumaru (Hirohide)-san…
K: They’re totally sempais!

Shige then pointed out there’s a format they were supposed to follow that Massu isn’t doing (S: And we discussed this during the meeting too!) so they made Massu announce his story in the format discussed.
M: The story related to meals that I cannot forget-
K: It should be “that I, Masuda”
M: Ahh that’s what that blank there is for!
S: Uh huh
(short silence and laughter from the staff)
K: This is live! Masuda-san!!
M: 3, 2, 1!
K: Go!
M: The story related to meals that I, Masuda, cannot forget is that one when I was with Higashiyama-san, Yakumaru-san and Inohara-kun.
S: “that one” hahaha

So the story Massu shared was from a time when they met to celebrate Higashiyama-san’s birthday. Apparently Higashiyama-san and Yakumaru-san are of the same age (S: Heh~~), Inohara-kun is 10 years younger (K: Eh~), and Massu another 10 years younger. By coincidence. Massu was invited by Yakumaru-san and Higashiyama-san to the dinner at a shop, and Massu spent a lot of effort to find a good wine made in the year Higashiyama-san was born, since it’s his birthday. It was such a good wine he didn’t really know how he should handle it, but had it properly wrapped and all. It turns out the other two also brought some form of alcohol as they all presented similar, long paper bags to Higashiyama-san at the end, who accepted them all together at the same time. Massu was pretty sure he chose a really good wine, but since everything was consolidated together, there’s no way Higashiyama-san knew which one was from who.
K: I’d stick a post-it with my name for such occasions!
M: But I didn’t think we’d buy the same thing! And it wasn’t like it was a huge party.

Shige asked if he asked the other two what kind of alcohol they bought, and Massu didn’t. Neither did he ask Higashiyama-san to see how he found Massu’s gift. They said maybe this would provide the chance for Higashiyama-san to learn about it.

K: Um due to the time constraints, we’ll be playing a song next!
M: (weird high pitched squeaky EH!?)
K: Yes we’ll play a song.
M: ...just…my story…?
K: Yeah we’ll continue later.
M: (still in the high pitched voice) Sorry I took up so much time!

♪ Kanariya ♪

Koyama went next to share his story, and it was also with Higashiyama-san. They went for tempura with mutual acquaintance(s), then went for drinks at a bar that Higashiyama-san always goes to, just the two of them. After a few drinks, Higashiyama-san started to dance to the jazz music played as BGM at the bar (K: It was like watching “Andalusia [ni akogarete]” live!), and asked Koyama to dance too. He said that was really scary, since he’s never danced jazz and had no idea what to do. He did try to dance a little though and, watching Higashiyama-san, thought he should learn to dance properly.
M: So he was like, (mimicking Higashiyama’s voice) “Koyama, let’s dance!”? (TL note: Massu said “let’s dance” in English)
K: No he did not say “let’s dance”, but yeah, something along the lines of asking me to dance.

Koyama said that while it’s a really happy memory for him, it also left a bit of trauma. (S: I haven’t had the chance to go for a meal with Higashiyama-san yet, but I think I’m going to try to escape that for the rest of my life.)

Shige then shared his story, with Masakado from Ae! Group.
M: ...Masakado?
S: I guess not many of us have chances to talk to Masakado-kun-
M: Eh? The one whose name is written as “Shomon”? (TL note: referring to the kanji 正門, which could also be pronounced as shomon)
K: The group name is pronounced as “A!” group? (emphasis on A) Not “A" group? (flat A)
S: Um yeah “seimon”, “tadashii mon”... but it’s actually “Masakado”.
M: Eh? That’s pronounced as “Masakado”?
S: Masakado-kun.
M: I thought he was “Shomon”!

So Shige and Masakado got linked because of “Sen, shoku”, since Masakado-kun is playing the lead in that play. Apparently he got cast in the role while Shige was still working on the script, so Shige thought he wanted to get to know Masakado better and asked for a meeting-cum-meal kind of session with the managers, producer, director etc. Shige meant to learn more about Masakado through that session, but he figured Masakado-kun must have been nervous, especially since how he had to come specially from Osaka for that.
K: Yeah because it meant he was meeting the scriptwriter.
S: Yeah and I was a sempai too.

While Shige had really wanted to know Masakado better, he realised kids who were nervous could only manage “yes”, though Masakado’s already considered one of those who talk more. Plus it’s not like Shige is good at doing the sempai thing of leading conversations. So at the end, they asked if there’s anything he would like to ask Shige. Since it was Masakado’s first time performing at the Globe Theatre, Shige expected a question related to acting, but Masakado went, “Um, there’s this thing I had wanted to ask you. Would you please make the noren for my dressing room?” (S: THAT!?) Shige said that’s probably something he told himself to definitely ask Shige. Koyama asked if Shige made it for him, and he said he’s in the process of it. While Shige has made a noren for Nakajima Yuto (Hey! Say! JUMP) before, he’s never asked to have one made for himself. Koyama had his made by Iwashita Shima-san and has always been using that, while Massu had his made by a clothing brand. He has made norens for juniors though, like for Tomioka Kento. He designed it such that it looks like a pair of jeans hanging out to dry. (M: I made the noren such that they are actually wearable!) Koyama said his has “To Koyama” written on the right, and “Iwashita Shima” on the left, and putting up a noren from Iwashita Shima-san helps him feel more confident. They talked about how that’s probably the point of the norens, and Shige said he felt like he had to become someone of a certain calibre, since his name was going to be on someone’s noren. Massu said he wondered for a second if he should make his name bigger on Kento’s noren, just as a joke. Massu also added how, as a sempai, it’s probably happier to be asked to make a noren than to be asked questions about acting, isn’t it? Shige said maybe he was there as a scriptwriter but Masakado probably regarded him as a sempai. They said it’s probably hard to ask acting related questions at the very end as people might feel that’s a question that should have been asked earlier.

Koyama brought up how they haven’t been reading listener mails at all, and information on the pagers are in! A listener asked if they knew what “0-15” meant, and Shige decided to hold the answer to it till later.

7pm - 8pm

They said it’s only 7pm though it feels like they’ve been talking for quite a while. They spent some time trying to decipher what “0-15” meant, and Shige gave a hint, saying that “15” means “ikou” (let’s go…) so it’s inviting someone to somewhere, and to take “0” as something round. They made a few guesses before Massu finally got it - bowling. So “0-15” means “Let’s go bowling”. And “I love you” (aishiteru) is apparently “14106” (1= i, 4= shi, 10= ten, 6=ru). They talked a bit more about these codes, saying it’s nice to try to convey things through numbers, because it’s like a little quiz and there’s that feeling of revelation when you finally figure the message out.

The next listener message was from someone who said they are feeling a little worried since Massu’s been messing up and giving short replies to how he’s been recently. (S: HAHAHAHA) They would like to know if Massu properly ate before this.
S: They must be thinking your brain isn’t working properly.
M: HAHAHHA. That’s what they meant?
K: Asking if there’s enough sugar.

Massu shared that the agency sent some food to the studio for everyone present, and the person who’s eating that the most is actually him.
M: Sorry about that.
K: Masuda is the one eating all the food from Johnny’s.
S: I wish you would eat that only after we were done with our work (laugh)
Shige added that since the staff chose this mail out of the numerous mails that came in, it must mean that they are thinking the same thing. Like, please, Masuda-kun, we’re counting on you.
K: Okay Masuda-san, what’s the theme for today?
M: Theme??? The one you write at the top of mails, right? What was it again?
S: Please eat!
M: The one about “tonchiki” songs?
K: That’s coming up later so don’t say that now!

Going back to introduce “My First NEWS”, the listener ate tamago kake gohan (raw egg on rice) for the first time recently and didn’t like it, so they wonder why people like it so much. Massu also only tried it after he became an adult (K, S: EHHHH) as they didn’t do that at home. Koyama asked if they have any particular preferences for eating their TKG. (M: NOPE. K: Come on, expand on this a little!) Shige said chili oil for him. It’s super yummy. Massu started talking about the bottle design of chili oil (K: WHERE is he choosing to expand on? Then expand on mine just now!). Then Shigemass started getting excited about how the bottle is designed such that one push releases only a small amount, and that it is all done very cleanly, such that the oil doesn’t flow all over the bottle. While they were all excited about it, Koyama goes on by himself talking about how TKG is yummy and what he adds to it.
K: What should we do? I feel like we’re in a tiny accident right now. This is a live programme.
S: NOT at all! Anything you can think of? Something that you feel has evolved?
K: Evolv- hang on, all of a sudden? Come on, let’s look at the mails!
S: “Look”? Look at them then!
K: Okay I looked.
S: YOU read the mail.

The next mail was from a listener who tried making pottery recently. Koyama has tried it once for a programme before, and Massu hasn’t. He referred to the Mar 2017 episode of SCP where they made glasses together. Koyama referred to the classic scene from Ghost (1990) saying he likes that scene a lot, and Shige was like, all your references are all so uncle-like! Shige says the bowls and plates he’s using now are all made by himself, because he has a friend in Wakayama he can visit to make them. Massu said he’s using a light blue bowl made by enka singer Hikawa Kiyoshi-san. Apparently he told Massu on a programme (TL note: probably the Jun 11th 2020 episode of Gochi) that he could have everything he brought, but Massu couldn’t bring them all back so he only took one. Shige asked what they do about their crockery since the two of them don’t cook very much. Koyama said he’s started cooking more this year, so while he used to keep all the seasonings etc. hidden from view, it got troublesome once he started cooking more so he wanted to display them nicely. He also started caring more about the crockery he uses, and has been using the pretty ones his mum brought over. Massu said he would not want to use plates his mum brings over because it’d ruin his aesthetic and commented Shige’s probably similar in that sense. But Shige started out using the ones his parents gave him too. Shige asked what Koyama cooks and he said simple dishes, mostly chicken and many Chinese-style, influenced by his mum’s cooking. He mentioned yukhoe as an example, and Massu caught onto that, saying that it is a dish that uses chili oil, doesn’t it?? And Shigemass started going on about the chili oil bottle again (K: CRAPPPPPP)

// Music Segment: Okubukaki Tonchiki Song no Sekai - NEWS hen- //
(Into the deep world of Tonchiki Songs - NEWS ver-
TL note: It’s really hard to translate “tonchiki”, but something like, wild? Weird? But catchy?)

They touched on how Massu made the spoiler earlier in the programme by mentioning the theme (M: What is this segment about?? Tell me!), then went on to say how apparently Johnny’s tonchiki songs have been rather popular recently, referring to songs that you don’t really get when you first listen to them, but somehow they stick. They also said they did a “Johnny’s tonchiki song medley” last year with some other Johnny’s groups at Music Station Super Live. For this segment, they will first each choose a NEWS tonchiki song, before moving on to Johnny’s songs. They talked about how NEWS’ tonchiki songs tend to start with “ch”, and KoyaShige actually picked the same song.

♪ Chankapana ♪

Shige picked this song because it’s one of NEWS’ signature songs that makes an impact when you hear it. He went on to explain that “chankapana” is a made up word to mean “beloved person”. They also shared that there were a few options picked up from the lyrics for the song title, but this one was the weirdest. Koyama added that even now, there are a lot of people who tell them that they sing “Chankapana” at the karaoke etc. (M: Sometimes people call me “That Chankapana person!” So I tell them, yup, I am Mr Chanakapana~) Shige said this was probably the start of their tonchiki song series too, since they didn’t really have a song like this before.

They then moved on to Massu’s choice - “Chincha Umakka”. He said while both “Chankapana” and “Chincha Umakka” are really unusual songs, they decided they won’t fool around with the performance of the songs. Instead, they chose to perform the songs in really cool ways, so there’s this interesting gap between the song and the performance.

♪ Chincha Umakka ♪

Coming back from the song, Massu said “chincha” (jinjja) means “very” in Korean and he’s sure the song will create a lot of excitement when performed at concerts. They touched a little on how Massu is pretty much the one who takes care of the various countries, since he covers most of them in his rap parts, both for “Chincha Umakka” and “ONE -for the win-”.

Koyama said he just received information that the #NEWSANNP hashtag was trending first place worldwide.
S: Oh thank you.
K: Awesome (claps)
M: What does that mean? What’s worldwide?
K: Shige, explain in detail please.
S: It means it’s trending most in the entire world.
K: Everyone’s tweeting about it.
S: Yup on twitter. In terms of the number of tweets.
K: First place, leading with a huge gap.
M: Worldwide?? I’d find it more amazing if they told us we were trending first in Japan. Because when they say worldwide, I’m like, hmm? Where?
K: Because it’s hard to tell the scale of it, right?
M: Exactly!

// Music Segment: Okubukaki Tonchiki Song no Sekai - Johnny’s hen- //
(Into the deep world of Tonchiki Songs - Johnny’s ver- )

Koyama messed up a bit of the pronunciation of a word during the segment intro, and the other two teased him, saying that can’t be helped since he just had a tooth removed. Massu introduced his song selection first.

♪ Shonentai - Dekamelon Densetsu ♪

While he can’t remember how he got to know this song, Massu used to set this song as his ringtone when he was in middle school. At this point in time of the programme, they read a mail a listener sent in about Higashiyama-san. The listener was concerned if Higashiyama-san would get mad at them, from how Koyamass were imitating him in the earlier segment when they were sharing stories about memorable meals. Koyama said they’re probably fine, because Higashiyama-san is extremely nice and Koyamass imitated him again, saying stuff like “That’s fine!” “We didn’t mean to make fun of him!”
Going back to the song, they said they’ve all performed this before but the dance was so hard to remember. Massu said that dance was a style they weren’t familiar with, one that has more jazz and ballet elements.

Shige chose a song by Kinki Kids, and said they have so many tonchiki songs, including their latest “Kansai Boya”. But they also have cool songs like, “Boku no senaka niwa Hane ga aru” (K: I first appeared in “Music Station” in that song!) Shige said he first appeared in Music Station for a Kinki Kids song too, and it’s the song he’s about to introduce.

♪ Kinki Kids - Kinki no yaruki manman song ♪

Shige said while he’s not sure if this was considered a tonchiki song, but from how they go “yaruki manman da!” (we’re full of motivation!) and how the title is just that - Kinki’s full-of-motivation song - it could be. NEWS doesn’t have a song titled that, do they? Koyamass agreed it’s a really good song and would like to hear the current Kinki sing this. Shige said this was a tie-up song with Chibi Maruko, and he felt like this is one of the cheeriest songs Kinki Kids have. They talked more about how KoyaShige were shinme and backdanced for Kinki a lot, then shared some memories of them performing “Jounetsu”. Massu said there were actually two different types of costumes for Jrs and Shigemass started to describe this one that was yellow inside and a long black coat outside. When Koyama tried to talk about a short red vest and how there were probably a lot of costumes,
M: Since Shige and I are describing the same thing, we should talk about this one!!!
K: Why did he suddenly get mad at me? (laughs)
S: I can’t remember which one it was for “Jounetsu” though.
K: Why is he suddenly so emotionally unstable hahahha
M: WHY do you have to suddenly talk about the red vest!! ...Hey, remember the white vinyl looking one with blue lines?
K: We’re not talking about that now!!
(laughter in the studio)

Back to Kinki Kids, they said they’re all very musically influenced by Kinki Kids, and that Massu would definitely go watch their concert if theirs was the one before Johnny’s Countdown. Shige talked about how Kinki’s albums are named according to the alphabets, and they probably entered Johnny’s around B or C, though Koyama probably joined around E.

Moving on to Koyama’s choice, he said when this song was released, he just could NOT get the chorus out of his head, whether he was about to sleep, showering… the chorus was just there all the time!

♪ Johnny’s WEST - Ee ja nai ka ♪

K: See…… now I can’t get “ee ja nai ka” out of my head.
M: But… “ee ja nai ka”! (that’s fine, isn’t it)

Koyama said he likes this song a lot and Massu said they were probably listening on the Tokyo Dome stage when WEST first performed this song (referring to the 2013-14 JCD where WEST announced their debut with just 4 members then). Koyama said they sang this during countdown too (referring to EPCOTIA -ENCORE-’s countdown show). They said it’s a signature song of Johnny’s WEST and a song they perform best.

Introducing another “My First NEWS” mail, the listener started going camping as day trips with their family, sharing how they’ve built up their camping gear collection over the years, then introducing a few dishes their family enjoys at camps. The three of them talked a little about whether or not to stay the night when going camping. On showering while camping, Koyama said he still prefers showering before snuggling into his sleeping bag, since there’ll be this smell that lingers on, especially if you had BBQs etc. The room in which he keeps his camping gear at home now smells a bit like that too.
M: Both Koyama and the listener just slipped “gear” into the sentence, but there’s the possibility that people don’t really understand what “gear” means.
K: Shige understands “gear” too!
M: Shige understands that, but you lost me at “gear”. All I can figure out is that you own “something”.
S: We all like stacking our sierra cups, don’t we?
K: Yeah we do, so they look neat and all.
M: Hey, about that chili oil-
(laughter in the studio)
S: Is that your only comeback???
K: You could attach carabiners to the chili oil!
M: I know carabiners~

Massu asked them to let him go to their mountain next time, before moving on to the next mail. The listener bought a belly warmer recently. Shige said he used to wear belly warmers before, and Koyama said he used to wear belly warmers at the hotels when they went on tours. Shige started talking about how the yukatas provided by the hotels always roll up (during his sleep).
S: Whaaaat is that, seriously.
K: They just come undone.
M: Like, before you know it, you’re wearing just the sash.

The rest agreed, and talked about how sometimes the sash is around the waist, and sometimes it’s at the nipples. Shige said he really appreciates the places that provide yukatas with buttons, and Koyama said 2-piece sets are nice too. Koyama asked if they do anything to sleep better, sharing that he sleeps with a mask on to stay hydrated. Shige asked if they bring their personal pyjamas on tours. Koyama does, and Shige said he’s started bringing his too, as he grew to develop a phobia for those yukatas that roll up. (M: Nipple sash huh. S: Yeah, nipple sash phobia). They asked what Massu does, and he said he basically brings two types of clothes on tours - clothes for rehearsals, and clothes to wear in the dressing room. He’d usually just wear the dressing room clothes (usually sweats etc., stuff he’d wear to the gym) for the following day after his shower the night before, and head straight to the venue in those clothes before changing to rehearsal clothes for rehearsals. So to him, it’s not like he specially brings pyjamas along for the tour. Massu asked if they bring pillows along, and Koyama said that’s a really good question, as he had just bought a pillow case to carry his pillow in. (S: WHY do you need a case for that???) Koyama explained the manufacturer for his pillow has a carrier case for that, and they talked a little about it, asking if he’ll be carrying it separate from his suitcase and why he couldn’t just put it into his suitcase (it’s too big for that [S: HUH how big is your pillow??], his pillow is the hard kind that can’t be folded, it’d take up all the space in his suitcase so he can’t put anything else…) Shige said he can’t wait to find out how big that pillow is when they go on their tour, and Massu was like, just buy a suitcase one size bigger to put the pillow in!
S: I hate people who carry their pillow separately, regardless of whether it’s in a case or not.
K: Don’t say “hate”... that’s what I intend to do.
M: Yeah we hate that. That whole, “I am carrying my pillow on my shoulder” kind of thing-
K: FINE I GET IT. I’ll put it into the suitcase!
S: Carrying the pillow Johnny’s style huh (TL note: there’s this term, “Johnny’s mochi”, that refers to how a lot of Johnny’s carry their bags with a single hand and swung over their shoulders)

Koyama said he just wants to sleep well so he can recover fully. Shige said Koyama gets so greedy when it comes to his sleep and Massu’s like, hahaha I would NEVER want to be told that. Koyama said it’s just that he’s come to realise how important sleep is now that he’s older.

// NEWS Shosetsu! Saigo no ichibun //
(NEWS novel! The final line)

For this segment, Shige was supposed to expand on the lines listeners have sent in beforehand. These lines are the final lines to a story, so Shige had to guess what went on before that. So while KoyaShige were doing the intro talk, Massu started going “Yo~sh” in the background, and apparently he had been rolling his shoulders. (K: Who knows, maybe today is the day author Masuda Takahisa is born)

The first line goes:
“Have you seen a man with okonomiyaki sauce on his sleeve?”
Kato quietly crossed his arms behind his back.

Shige asked if Koyama knew what was happening, and Koyama said someone has okonomiyaki sauce on their sleeve and is on the run.
S: And that’s…?
K: That’s…?
S: The fact that Kato crossed his arms means he’s hiding something, isn’t it?
M: Oh man you’re so slow! Is he just dumb or does he lack comprehension skills?

Shige said this sounds like the first line is from some police officer and Shige’s the one being questioned. Koyama said he feels someone else is the person with okonomiyaki sauce on their sleeve. Massu started going how Shige is the type who wouldn’t care if he got okonomiyaki sauce on his sleeve so he wouldn’t realise his sleeve’s stained. (S: Hurhurhur, no, that’s the setting in the story!) Koyamass continued saying how if he had sauce on his sleeve, he probably had sauce around his mouth too and at that point in time people would already know it’s him! HAHAHAHHAHA (while Shige tries to say this is the final line so we don’t care what comes after, but should care about what comes before) and even on his chest too since it’ll drip hahahhahahaha.

Shige then offered another way of reading this, that he could be the police officer who’s asking the question and the one being questioned is the culprit. He said Masuda-san now has a face full of questions but moved on anyway.

Second line:
After completing a 3 hr 40 mins live programme, Masuda received his payment of a cookie and left.

Koyama said that’s an entire story in itself, there’s nothing to talk about! (M: Let’s expand on it!) So Shige offered that maybe Koyama met with an accident and Massu was asked to replace him at the very last minute, except they can’t afford to pay him. So Massu said, that’s fine, just give me a cookie at the end.
Massu then said, no, it’s that he receives all payment for his work in the form of cookies.
K: HOW long more are you going to keep up with that.
M: My house is built from cookies.
S: From Shizuoka Prefecture, Hamatsu City-
M: You’re not going to expand more on my-
S: Radio name, Madoka-san!

Third line:
Koyama, who won the competition, raised his trophy, while Kato clapped. Masuda, shedding tears of regret, removed his jacket quietly and hugged an armful of broccoli.

Koyama wondered if it was some body building competition they were in (S: Why?) and the other two explained there was that broccoli, which is good for building muscles. Massu confirmed if he really lost to Koyama in the story, but Shige said Masuda was removing his jacket, so he wasn’t naked, which means he couldn’t have been participating in some body building competition, so could it have been some broccoli competition instead? Koyama said nope, Massu won the special prize of the body building competition so he receives a year’s supply of broccoli. Shige asked if Koyama would want to win a competition like that, and Koyama said he wins a trophy and a year’s supply of chicken breasts.
S: This is completely fine, but this segment was supposed to be me expanding on the story! Why are the two of you acting like you’re authors? It’s completely fine, though!

The two of them were like, it’s really hard to work with just one final line and you need a proper build up and climax and all, and Shige just went on to read the next mail.

Fourth line:
And Koyama dipped the hot dog into water and started eating.

Shige asked Koyama for his thoughts and Koyama said he was probably on a boat and floating alone. But the boat capsized and he’s just barely holding onto the hotdog with his right hand. He got thirsty, but if he didn’t have the energy left to move his lips to the water, so he dipped the hotdog… (S: Are you in the lake? This is the sea! It’s saltwater!) Shige said this scenario is probably for competitive eating and Massu said Koyama has zero sense for such things. They said they were probably supposed to think of why Koyama entered that competition and Koyama was like, this was supposed to be the segment where Shige shines so we don’t have to do well! Turns out they ran out of time though and that’s the end of the segment.

♪ Ikiro ♪

Coming back from traffic updates, both Shige and Massu thanked the announcer who gave the traffic updates and Koyama was like, what happened? It seems Massu thought the director cued him, but they were actually giving Shige the cue, just as it was written in the script.

Koyama proceeded to read a listener mail, “Massu has been messing up pretty often since the title call (HAHAHAHHAHAHA) but KoyaShige ties everything up nicely by teasing him. Is this what usually happens?” Koyama said yes. And Shige went on to talk about the most recent incident with the traffic updates - Massu was the one who passed Shige the paper with the name of the announcer for traffic updates, so he just couldn’t understand why Massu still thought he should be the one talking. Massu explained his eyes met the director’s then so he thought that was his cue, but okay, he jumped in at the wrong time.

- continued on the next entry -

Tags: #newsannp, radio

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